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Christopher Laird Simmons

Christopher Laird Simmons has written 20 posts for Advertising Industry Newswire
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HBO Does Bloody Good Marketing with Sexy VILF Tank

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ May 20, 2010 ⋅ Post a comment

COLUMN: In perhaps one of the most clever sexy marketing ideas I’ve seen in awhile, HBO is promoting a True Blood tie-in, a women’s tank top, with the letters VILF across the chest. It’s a clever reference to the now over-used term MILF, except with vampire replacing mother as the first word. The tank also [...]

Robo-calling Scum of the Week: StormofWealth.com (Chris Hogan, et al.)

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ March 28, 2010 ⋅ 3 comments

COLUMN: Well, friends and fans, we have another scumbag using robo-calling tactics to call my home phone number (about 2:20pm PDT today, Sunday). Expecting me to be home to listen to your call, frak you, here’s what you get: this week’s award for being one of the lowest bottom feeders in the ad industry. Why [...]

Robo-calling Scum of the Week: TurboATM-dot-com

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ March 18, 2010 ⋅ 4 comments

COLUMN: Well, it looks like the scammers keep on calling. This week the abusive law-breaking robo-caller is the scum suckers calling themselves “Turboatm(.com)” and calling after 7pm Pacific Time, and calling those numbers on the “do not call registry” in violation of both Federal and California law. The calls originate from 206-350-9029. In going to [...]

Robo Calling Scum of the Month: Anthem Blue Cross / Blue Shield

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ February 4, 2010 ⋅ One comment

COLUMN: It’s unfortunate that Anthem has chosen to attack unsuspecting customers and non-customers with inhuman robocalls. I’ve gotten about a dozen calls this year – and I’m not a customer. Latest one was at 2pm PST (5pm EST) today, and for somebody I’ve never heard of, even though I have had this phone number for [...]

Spammer of the Week: ‘MyPRGenie, Inc.’

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ February 3, 2010 ⋅ One comment

COLUMN: From time to time I have to laugh at the idiocy of SEO companies and Web startups who are constantly trying to pollute the Web with their crap, and take to spamming companies when they apparently have no clue what they’re doing from either an ethical or business perspective. To take these cretins and [...]

The ‘New’ Domino’s Pizza – oh yes they did, or did they?

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ January 26, 2010 ⋅ 4 comments

COLUMN: Well, as somebody who used to enjoy Domino’s “once upon a time,” and who gave up on the poor quality (really, Papa John’s was so much better, it’s just not even a comparison), I was intrigued by the somewhat unusual step for the pizza chain to fess up and admit in their new ad [...]

The Verdana Monologues – When Ikea’s Designers go Kabookskik

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ August 30, 2009 ⋅ 8 comments

COLUMN: I got my Ikea catalog last week, and like many in the design field, thought something had changed but wasn’t quite sure what. Due to the fact I have been working on the Web more than the printed design space the past five years, it actually took me a little bit to notice the [...]

Megan Fox Drops F-Bomb for Viral Marketing

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ August 14, 2009 ⋅ One comment

COLUMN: If you’re a follower of Megan Fox, or the latest vampire movies, or you happen to look at the most popular this week listings on your iPhone, you have probably already seen the clever viral PSA (public service announcement) for Megan’s upcoming movie “Jennifer’s Body” (which appears to be based on the foreign flick [...]

Google Brings Text Ads into Google News … again

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ February 26, 2009 ⋅ Post a comment

COLUMN: For those of you who use Google News (the news portal that is a subset of the megalith that is the Google content universe) regularly, you might have noticed a month ago (end of January) that Google “flirted” with the idea of ads on their news search pages, with the same look/feel as normal [...]

Contextual Counter Branding: Your Pizza is My Pizza – Why Search Engines Want to Sell Your Trademark to Your Competitors

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ March 3, 2007 ⋅ 2 comments

COLUMN: While the subject of contextual branding against other company’s trademarks will not be a new issue to some people, and I had been aware of the problem from the past couple of years of litigation between major companies and search portals like Google and Yahoo!, nevertheless I was a bit surprised when my brand was targeted by an upstart competitor.

Stephen Monaco to Commence MidwestBusiness.com Writing Venture

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ January 17, 2007 ⋅ Post a comment

Stephen MonacoCHICAGO, Ill. — Stephen Monaco, an accomplished executive with 20 years of senior management experience in the technology sector, will begin publishing state-specific content on MidwestBusiness.com spanning the Missouri and neighboring technology landscape.

My Baby was Possessed by the PlayStation 3 – Next Gen Game Consoles Take Different Approaches to TV Commercials

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ November 21, 2006 ⋅ Post a comment

COLUMN: After seeing one of Sony’s debut TV spots for their new PlayStation(r), I’m sure I was not the only one slightly freaked out by the toy baby who comes to life, starts to cry, then laugh maniacally before flashing demon red eyes… all while pawing the air toward the floating black slab of a PlayStation 3 (PS3).

What Can Brown Do for Identity Theft?

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ September 10, 2006 ⋅ 2 comments

COLUMN: Companies need to do a better job of policing themselves when signing up new customers on the Internet and through mail campaigns, otherwise they risk contributing to an already serious epidemic of personal and business identity theft. Certain companies are making it a little easier for crooks to get a foot in the door due to a lack of safeguards and common sense. And guess what? It just happened to my company.

eBay Keywords Program Being Discontinued

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ August 25, 2006 ⋅ Post a comment

eBay(TM) LogoeBay announced this week that they will be discontinuing the eBay Keywords program at the end of September. The program allowed eBay sellers to bid for keywords for text ad placements.

The IAB announces the Formation of an Industry-wide Click Measurement Working Group

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ August 3, 2006 ⋅ Post a comment

IAB LOGONEW YORK, NY — The Interactive Advertising Bureau (IAB) this week announced that they are forming an industry-wide Click Measurement Working Group to create a set of Click Measurement Guidelines. These Guidelines, a joint effort with the Media Rating Council (MRC), will provide the detailed definition of a “click” and the standard against which clicks are measured and counted including the identification of invalid clicks and/or fraudulent clicks.

Man Fur Makes Me Thirsty – Alcohol and Shaving Don’t Mix

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ July 21, 2006 ⋅ Post a comment

Cuervo Black and Coke commercialCOLUMN: Apparently shaving is no longer hip and cool. I’m watching TV, the commercials come on, and I am blinded by the stubble… oh the stubble … Does Paris Hilton think “that’s hot?” Ohmigod! I need to stop shaving or I’m not going to get past that velvet rope!

Federal Judge to Rule on Google’s Right to Allegedly Limit Speech on the Internet

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ June 23, 2006 ⋅ One comment

LOS ANGELES, CA — At 9:00 a.m. on Friday, June 30, 2006 in United States Federal Court, 280 S. First Street, Courtroom #3, San Jose, California, a drama will play out between KinderStart.com (a site for kids zero to seven and their parents) and the giant of the Internet, Google, controlling up to 80% or more of ‘Net searches worldwide.

New Book Shows the Beauty of the Advertising Industry

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ May 18, 2006 ⋅ Post a comment

Hello GorgeousNEW YORK, NY — Noted beauty expert, marketing guru, and author Rachel Weingarten’s new book: “Hello Gorgeous! Beauty Products in America, ’40s-’60s” (ISBN: 1933112182, Collectors Press, 5/06) is a chic social commentary on beauty advertising, and combines her marketing and beauty industry background. The book explores the beauty culture past and present, women’s evolving spending power in America while highlighting the exhortations and beauty products geared to women in the mid last century and into our own times.

LookSmart Unveils its Next Generation PPC AdCenter

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ May 14, 2006 ⋅ Post a comment

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — LookSmart Ltd. announced this week the launch of their new enhanced AdCenter with improved functionality icnluding Daily budgets (versus monthly) which give you more control of your distribution and spend. You will now be in distribution every day of the month.

When Product Placement Goes Too Far

By Christopher Laird Simmons ⋅ April 3, 2006 ⋅ 2 comments

The Island - xboxCOLUMN: Product placement is considered a necessary evil and potential savior for the advertising industry, but sometimes the concept gets in the way of the art form. The recent creative and financial flop The Island took the concept way too far.